Review: Inside Man

People love a good heist movie. Who wouldn't love to be part of a brilliantly planned out robbery that goes off without a hitch? Who wouldn't love to have been standing there, with Ocean's Eleven or The Italian Job, knowing that you just got away with 20 million dollars? A good heist movie makes regular folks like me 'n' you want to be the getaway driver, the computer hacker or the munitions expert. But what if none of those positions were necessary to pull off a job? What if all you needed was the perfect plan? Spike Lee attempts to answer that in Inside Man, starring Denzel Washington as Det. Frazier and Clive Owen as bank-robber elite Dalton Russell.

Of course it makes it a lot easier to escape when you're not trying to get away with duffel bags full of cash, but instead, something with even greater value: Assurance. I'm not going to detail it, since then what would be the point of seeing it. Det. Frazier is called to deal with a hostage situation at a Manhattan bank. He's not the first choice, but the primary negotiator is on vacation, so he's the man. Meanwhile, the perps are inside, prepping the hostages for the long haul. They each have tricks up their sleeves, and believe themselves to be outwitting the other. Throwing a wrench in the works is Madeleine White (Jodie Foster, criminally underused here), who insinuates herself into the situation on behalf of a third party, Arthur Case (Christopher Plummer) who owns the bank and would like to make sure the secrets held by the bank will stay that way. She has her own way of dealing with problems such as these and tries to make promises to both Russell and Frazier.

It soon becomes apparent to Frazier that "this ain't no bank robbery" and starts to piece together what could really be going on. He and Russell have an easy rapport, but Russell isn't giving out anything that could bring him down. The robbery ends suddenly, leaving Frazier unprepared, and the rest of the film floats along slowly, as he tries to figure out the puzzling details. It's a fine heist movie, to be sure, but it's not a great one, like Reservoir Dogs or Heat or even Snatch, but it gives us everything on the heist movie checklist: Charismatic criminal mastermind, high-stakes game of cat-and-mouse, unhinged authority figures, it's all there. With a little push and maybe some tweaking, this could have been a great one.

∆∆∆1/2 of 5

The Nature of Brotherhood

Being in Canada has plenty of perks. Universal health insurance (which ain't as free as I keep hearing). The ability to be aware of the world outside my borders. Smarties. I'm sure there are others. But we miss out on some things. Premium channels being high on my list. Sure, I could spring for a satellite system, but why do that, when I can download entire seasons for free. Free TV for the masses! I'm currently watching three shows via torrents. and Sports Night, Sleeper Cell and Entourage. I mentioned my love for Sports Night in an earlier post, so suffice it to say, it's a fast-paced, dialogue-heavy comedy from Aaron Sorkin.

Sleeper Cell is a Showtime original series about an FBI agent (Michael Ealy) in deep cover, infiltrating an Islamic extremist brotherhood. In order to keep his cover, he has to participate in terrorist activities and contribute to planning attacks on American soil. That's another perk about being Canadian. Nobody wants to attack us, because nobody gives a shit. The show focusses on Darwyn (Ealy), and his triple-life. Life A: FBI superstar, the best chance they have to stop new attacks. Life B: Ex-con, putting his life back together, with the help of a good woman (Melissa Sagemiller). Life C: Holy warrior, working with a veritable Islamic rainbow, run by Farik (Oded Fehr). Adding interest to the story is the fact that Darwyn is a Muslim in his own life as well, and his faith is continually tested on all sides. This all makes for excellent drama, and what I'm sure will be a fantastic climax (I haven't finished yet).

Entourage is one of those shows you keep hearing about, but never bother looking for in the TV Guide. Well, seeing that I don't have HBO, I decided to look for it online, and lo and behold, I had season one loaded the next morning. It's a very funny show about the day to day dealings in Hollywood for a new star and his three man crew. Vinnie Chase (Adrian Grenier) is fresh off a hit movie opposite Jessica Alba (oh, I should mention now that the show is peppered liberally with big name cameos), and looking for his next script. His manager (Kevin Connolly) is his best friend growing up in Queens, and looks out for career mistakes he could be making. His brother (Kevin Dillon, himself a brother to a star), is just trying to hang on to an acting career that Vinnie's table scraps provide. Turtle (Jerry Ferrara), is just along for the ride and all the money and poontang he can get away with. These brothers-in-arms go everywhere together, live in the same house, and eat every meal at a table for four. Doing his best impression of a hammerhead shark is Ari (Jeremy Piven), uber-agent extraordinaire. Gladhand you one minute, stab you with a ballpoint pen the next, he sweeps through every scene like a Class 5 hurricane. As he said to Gary Busey, "You're about to spin off this planet, I love it."

Oh, I just thought of another one. The IT Crowd is a BBC series centering around the three-person IT department at a large company. This is a delightfully silly show, with some zany characters (did I just say zany? Hmm, I guess I did), and hilarious writing. It also features a boss that feels like he stepped out of a Kids in the Hall sketch, and that's a good thing in my book. Unfortunately, the BBC likes to tease viewers with seasons that last for six episodes, then go away until you forget them. That's happening to me now with Extras, the latest effort from The Office's Ricky Gervais. I guess that's yet another one. He's working on season two, but I'll have forgotten by then.

So, to sum up, shows you should check out, either by springing for the pay-TV, or just getting on the old LimeWire: Sleeper Cell, Entourage, Sports Night, The IT Crowd and Extras. Is that enought for you? Well it's never enough for me. Next I'm going to look for the live action Tick series, and maybe get some old Duckman eps. Any other advice?

Mourning the Fallen

The past few weeks have been rough on me. It began with the untimely demise of loveable techie Edgar Stiles on 24. Then, only one week later they follow up with a double whammy: half-crazed power monger Lynn McGill (who we all knew had it coming, his part played out) and Jack's erstwhile best friend, Tony Almeida. Granted, his wife had died earlier, and his appearances were getting harder and harder to explain, but he was always there, side by side with Jack. And now, with suspicion Raine-ing down on Audrey (was that too terrible?) and Kim out of the picture (for good this time?), Jack only has one friend left in the world: Chloe, who never looks all that friendly anyway. What is a super-agent to do? I just wish Jack could have two minutes to mourn his fallen companions, before galavanting around again.

It makes me wonder who could possibly go next in this roller-coaster of sudden death. If Chloe goes, that's it, I've had it. Curtis could probably bite it, but we don't have enough of an emotional connection. Bill Buchanan doesn't ever leave CTU, so we've already missed out on the opportunity to send him off with the Sentox. My money's on Audrey. She and Jack have enough of a relationship that it would be a crushing blow to him, and that's just what this show specializes in. Plus, some doubt is being cast on her character, so who knows... maybe she gets dragged out into the field, then ends up getting shot in a crossfire, sacrificing herself to save Jack, who will only then realize she was telling the truth the whole time? Maybe. Time will tell.

I'd also like to have a moment of silence for Curtis "Lemonhead" Lemansky. Poor Lem was stuck in a moral dilemma between his life and his crew. Fortunately he has such a good friend in Shane, that the decision was ultimately made for him. With a grenade, no less. Although, to be fair, Shane gave him every opportunity to do the "right" thing, and go hide in Mexico. But Lem, who was always the most high-minded of the Strike Team, wanted to do his stretch in the pen, and thus seal off the hemorraging investigation. I suppose that to Shane, protecting his growing family, this seemed like the best solution, but I can't help but feel... oh , I don't know... shocked and appalled. There was really no chance for Lem, was there? By the end of the episode, he was either gonna be in jail, in Mexico or interred. He will be missed, and now Shane, who just got back on Vic's good side after the Antwon fiasco, will have to keep glancing over his shoulder for a big bald, angry head looking for retribution. I can't wait for next season.

Brand Spanking New Game

I'm a big fan of logo guessing games. I really enjoyed Joey Katzen's Retail Alphabet and then went in search of others. I found Logogame, which is also a lot of head scratching fun. So when I wanted to make my own version, I tried to emulate that one. I have called it Logopogo, because it just sounds like a helluva lot of fun, doesn't it? I've doubled some of the themes (Cereal, Candy, Fast food) but I've done my best to make them as original as I can. And while on Logogame, they just choose letters at random, or symbols, I strive to live up to the alphabet standard set by Mr. Katzen. I search high and low for thematic examples that contain a "Q", "Z", "J" or "X". The extra challenge in my version, is that I usually remove everything other surrounding letter so you get no help there.

Unfortunately, I am not a master coder, and my game is easy to hack. It's not like you win anything, so you don't gain an advantage, it's more about the challenge to yourself. I have seven games up and running now.

1. Auto companies, from Audi to Yugo (actually there's no Yugo).
2. Modern TV shows, from the last 15 years.
3. Classic TV shows, from the prior 40 years.
4. Cereal, take a gander down aisle 5 of your local Safeway.
5. Board games, when games were played with dice, not mice.
6. Candy bars, for the chocoholic inside you.
7. Restaurants, casual and fast-food.

Try them out and let me know how you like 'em, and feel free to give me some ideas. I might do some based on retail stores, magazines, toys, beverages and movies, but please pass on some input of your own, I'd love to hear them. Gracias, mi amigos!

Review: V for Vendetta

It's understandable that this movie is causing such a stir right now, with all the parallels and symbolism to the current state of affairs in the US and UK. What's surprising is the fact that this film is based on a graphic novel released in the 80's. Alan Moore, whose work also spawned The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (which was a fine book, if the movie left something to be desired), wrote it as a jab against the Thatcher-era politics that ruled the day. I haven't read this novel, but I'm tempted to look for it, if only to see how closely they followed the subject matter. I sort of find it hard to believe that a twenty-odd year old story would have throwaway comments about avian flu and pill-popping TV personalities a la Rush Limbaugh. I commend the Brothers Wachowski, fresh off their virtual reality adventures in The Matrix, for their unblinking, controversial piece of black satire. It can't have been easy to release a film with a climax involving subway explosions in London, shot just three weeks before the real events happened. It can't be easy to promote a movie whose protagonist, whose hero, is a ruthless terrorist. Well, maybe not completely ruthless. I'm sure he has some ruth. He probably thinks he's quite ruthful.

V for Vendetta begins with a history lesson: "Remember, remember, the fifth of November, the gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot." This refers to the infamous traitor, Guy Fawkes, who nearly succeeded in blowing up Parliament in 1605. His acts are the inspiration for "V", played by Hugo Weaving (known to Wachowski fans as Agent Smith), who thinks finishing Fawkes' work is just the kick in the pants Britain needs to get out of it's current funk. By which I mean the Fascist state where people who disagree with the government, simply disappear. Our heroine, Evey, played by Natalie Portman (We love you Natalie! I wanna f--- you too!), meets V when she is saved from some lascivious Fingermen, whatever that means. He promptly brings her to a rooftop where she is greeted by a magical sight: the demolition of The Bailey. This sets the events in motion, V has offered a public ultimatum that in one year, he will destroy the Parliament building, as a message to the dictatorship. And while the police are out searching for him, V is quietly removing the people responsible for his, shall we say, skewed outlook. All of this escalating hostility leads to the inevitable climax on November 5th, Guy Fawkes Day. I won't spoil it for you, but everything happens according to plan, let's say.

I really enjoyed this movie. I probably won't need to see it again, but I wouldn't object to it being shown to me. It most likely will not have the lasting effect of, say, The Matrix, but it certainly has more to say about the state of the world than, say, The Matrix Revolutions.

Viewing Habits Revealed

It's no secret to anyone who knows me that I love television. I love it so much, that not only does it take a toll on my life, but I realize it, and yet do nothing about it. I am pretty particular about what I watch, and become loyal to my shows, even when they jump the shark. Here are the shows I love now. To make it easier on myself, I'm going to list them by date, rather than by rank.

Monday

1. Corner Gas, CTV. This is a Canadian show, so most people will not know this show, but I suggest you look into torrents. I really love the fact that nothing ever happens on this sweet little slice of small-town life. No cliff-hanger endings, no relationship shockers, no character development whatsoever, really. Now that may sound unrewarding, but it makes it easy to pick up at any episode. It's a very well written comedy in the vein of Arrested Development, minus the poor ratings.
2. How I Met Your Mother, CBS. This show could very well save the 4-camera sitcom as we know it. Given the prevalence of comedy shows with the single camera shooting style, it's good to see a new show that can still 'bring it' to a studio audience. Starring some unknowns, plus band-camp girl Alyson Hannigan, the real star is former preteen premed Neil Patrick Harris as Barney. Barney, the womanizing, quote-spewing chauvinist, may be the greatest character since Dr. Cox.
3. 24, Fox. Oh Jack, is there anything you can't do? Sure, the plot twists come faster and more furiously than Jason Biggs on Shannon Elizabeth, but who doesn't love it when Jack speedwalks to the nearest available Ford SUV, yelling on his ubiquitous cell-phone at Chloe (sneer firmly in place), to upload some decrypted files, under the watchful eye of Buchanan, mumbling away about protocol. Ahh, sweet chaos. I just wish they wouldn't kill an average of one main character per episode. It starts to play with a guy's emotions.
4. CSI: Miami, CBS. This one tries my patience. I am a loyal fan of the Vegas version, so I plunk down in front of Caruso et al. to keep on track, but man, that guy has no charisma. Why doesn't he ever look at who he's talking to? Why is he always so dramatic with the sunglasses? Why is nobody tapping Emily Proctor's fine ass? I mean, 'procto'logy, 'Procto'r? No-one else sees that?
5. Dead Like Me, Showcase. Ok, fine, I realize that the show ended some time ago, but up here in the boonies, we have to wait a year to get shows from pay-cable. I think I may have just seen the last episode, and I have spoken at length about it in an earlier post. So suffice it to say, I'll miss it.

Tuesday

1. Scrubs, NBC. The little show that could. Who knew you could successfully mix plots dealing with cancer and ones about squirrel taxidermy, and make it a recipe for wacky fun. The everpresent narration, the Family Guy-style cutaways, and mostly, Dr. Cox's rants about everything under the sun, help this show bridge the gap between hilarity and poignancy in a way not seen since M*A*S*H.
2. The Amazing Race, CBS. I do not like reality shows, as a rule. I have never seen a full episode of Survivor, nor any Idol, American or otherwise. Having said that, sometimes, I just like to sit and watch people running from exotic locale to teeming metropolis, yelling at each other to hurry up. What bothers me is that the competitors rarely get a chance to enjoy themselves where they are.
3. Rescue Me, FX. The season was over a while ago, but the stories still resonate with me. Denis Leary was born to play Tommy Gavin, a hard-living, spirit-seeing firefighter working in the wake of 9/11. I think this was the one of the first shows to address it, and certainly the first show created because of it. But it's more than that now. The plots are so deep, and the emotions are raw, and he makes you root for this... this asshole, really.
4. The Daily Show, Comedy Network. Jon Stewart is a brilliant man. As a result of his satirical newscast, I have no idea what's going on in my own backyard, but I have an intricate knowledge of the Jack Abramoff scandal. He makes me feel smart, when compared to the leader of the Free World. And that's a special feeling.
5. The Colbert Report, Comedy Network. Stephen Colbert is a very brilliant man. I think I enjoy this show more than it's predecessor. Colbert's uber-conservative pundit character (and yes, it is a character), is an ironic stab to the heart of darkness, as represented by Bill O'Reilly (Poppa Bear) and his ilk. His massive ego is surpassed only by his massive balls.

Wednesday

1. That 70's Show, Fox. I'm glad this show is coming to a much deserved end. With the two compelling actors now moved on to bigger (Kutcher's Punk'd is a national phenomenon, or was, at least) and better (Topher Grace as Venom in Spiderman 3) things, the show is going, to quote Tommy Chong as Leo, "up in smoke". But that's not to say that it didn't have it's moments, so until they sit around that final circle, I'll be there.
2. Lost, ABC. I worried that this show would be a dramatic version of a three-hour tour, if you catch my drift. But those worries were unfounded, it turns out, and now this is event television for me (since it's a huge event whenever ABC decides to show a new episode among all the repeats). I love guessing the next twist, and then being completely wrong.
3. Veronica Mars, ABC. I admit, I didn't watch the first season, dismissing it as your run-of-the-mill UPN teen crap. But the more I heard about it, the more I was intrigued. So during the summer, I caught up on the repeated episodes, and really enjoyed it. Kristen Bell is a real find, and cute as a button too. The stories are crime-based without feeling heavy, and filled with redeemably flawed characters.
4. The Shield, FX. I don't know how realistic this show is, but it's how I think LA cops act and talk. Vic Mackey is the most flawed anti-hero going right now. He steals, screws, and murders, then covers it all up with frightening efficiency. No matter how low he sinks to protect his ass, and the asses of his Strike Team, you still want him to come out of it unscathed, roosting on top of The Barn.
5. CSI:NY, CBS. As I said before, I am a loyal viewer of the Vegas version, and for better or worse, Miami. When I heard of this second spinoff in the Big Apple, I protested that too many crime shows set up shop in New York. I still believe that. I think a gritty-city CSI would have been better suited to Chicago or Boston. That being said, I probably place this one a little above Miami, because I prefer Gary Sinise to Caruso.

Thursday

1. Everybody Hates Chris, UPN. This series should do well, as long as Chris Rock has his way. And I don't imagine anyone at UPN (or I guess the new CW network) will want to hurt the most successful comedy they have. Rochelle is one of the best TV Mom's since Malcolm/Middle's Lois.
2. My Name is Earl, NBC. Everyone at NBC had high hopes for this show, and haven't been disappointed. Jason Lee makes for such a loveable schmuck, trying to put his life right through the magic of Karma. The show is sweet, without being treacly, and funny without being annoying. I really enjoy Ethan Suplee as Randy, he's a great sidekick.
3. The Office, NBC. I'm a fan of the BBC series, as well, but this is just a fantastic show. Steve Carell has the look of a corporate stooge, but the comic sensability of... someone really funny. The best part is being able to recognize these characters in your own office, and going, "That guy is so much like Dwight, I may just jam this fork in my brain."
4. CSI, CBS. I had a similar introduction to this show as I did to V. Mars. I missed the first season, thinking it was another Law & Order type ripoff, but saw an episode during the summer, and was immediately hooked. I dedicated myself to finding repeat episodes, and by the time the next one came around, I was a CSIcho (my own term, pronounced see-a-psycho).
5. Without A Trace, CBS. Coming in below the radar, this missing persons procedural has none of the earmarks of a Bruckheimer production. The stories are compelling and the characters have lives outside of work, which are touched upon lightly enough that they never overtake the case, but often enough that you feel the personal biases of the agents. Top notch acting across the board, and Poppy Montgomery is a stone cold fox.

Friday/Saturday

1. South Park, Comedy Network. Friday is kind of a catch-all for the good stuff coming from Comedy Central. Heading into it's tenth, count 'em, tenth season, this show is still going strong. Unlike The Simpson's, this show doesn't have to rely on it's own little world for stories, so they're able to push the envelope for real satire. The boys from Colorado take on every possible controversy they can get their construction-paper hands on, from Scientology to alcoholism to Wal-Mart, and do it with style and hilarity.
2. Reno 911!, Comedy Network. A camera crew follows the men and women of the Reno Sheriff's Department, ala COPS and catchs them at their best, but more often, their worst. The mockumentary is the new sitcom, and this show proves why.
3. Harvey Birdman, Teletoon. One of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim block, this show is basically a 10-minute vignette of the things that might happen if the characters from the Hanna-Barbara stable got into trouble, and needed the legal acuity of a half-bird, half-man, half-lawyer.
   
4. Saturday Night Live, NBC. This show has it's ups and downs. For every 85-86, there is an 80-81. I think the show is just breaking out of a mini-slump, when they were minus Ferrell and Fallon, and having to rely on Hammond and Parnell's impersonations. There's a lot of new blood now, plus Andy Samberg's digital shorts, they may have turned a corner. I may not sit there and laugh hysterically through the entire hour and a half, but finding those one or two great sketches is something of a treasure hunt for me.

Sunday

1. King of the Hill, Fox. This is a Foxcentric day for me. I haven't been caught up in the Housewives-Anatomy double shot, thanks to that dangly bit between my legs. I still have love for Hank and the boys. I heard they just got another season extension. Good for them. They still have some good tales to tell. They have a subtle humour that is missing from the rest of the line-up, in lieu of obvious hilarity.
2. The Simpson's, Fox. No-one can touch this behemoth of comedy. People can bad-mouth it for being lame lately, but when the nuclear holocaust strikes, the surviving cockroaches will still be glued to new episodes from America's family. Just renewed for two more seasons, syndicates will soon have 19 seasons to choose from, that's over 400 episodes. You'd be able to watch it for 9 straight days and never see the same thing twice.
3. Family Guy, Fox. Pulled off the unthinkable and rose from the dead, sharp as ever. I never get tired of the contrived segues they come up with for those crazy cutaways. This show is a quote machine, from the likes of Stewie, Quagmire, Mayor West, Greased-Up Deaf Guy, and that creepy old pedophile guy with the walker. Biting stuff that never disappoints.
4. American Dad, Fox. I have no idea how Seth MacFarlane can handle the stress of two shows that rely so heavily on him, but he does, and he does it well. Using a similar formula to Family Guy, he now has two ways to satirize the world, overtly and covertly.
5. Trailer Park Boys, Showcase. Another homegrown Canuck show, these boys show that nobody out-white-trashes Canada. They are unapologetically flawed, recidivist small-time criminals, just trying to eke out a life in Sunnyvale Trailer Park. They drink, smoke, swear, toke, shoot, joke while Julian's got his Rum & Coke. I can't wait for the movie to come out.
6. Da Ali G Show, Showcase. From the mind of Sasha Baron Cohen springs three completely autonomous alter-egos. Ali G, the moronic wigga journalist from Staines Massive, who manages to interview the brightest minds in America; Borat, the Kazahkstani who doesn't understand personal boundaries or pleasant conversation; and Bruno, the gay Austrian fashionista who incurs the wrath of an entire Alabama football stadium.

Whew! Well, that's all I can think of at the moment. Thirty shows is plenty though, don't you think? I tell you, it makes me want to own a TiVo. Someday... someday...

Recovery Somewhat Complete

Whew! What a weekend. I turned the big 2-4 on Sunday (I guess 24 doesn't really qualify as a big one, but whatever). I had a whole Steve-centric time. Steve-tacular, if you will. Friday night, I went out drinking with some old work friends. Saturday night was the Roxy, with my roommates and the crew from my softball team, the Hamburgers. Oh how we danced. I jumped up on stage, to do a solo, but was summarily removed. I suppose by that time, I had had about 7 drinks in me. I'd like to thank everybody for coming out. And if I didn't see you there, then I hope you didn't show up, because I'd feel bad about missing you.

Then on Sunday, after waking up hung the f--- over, I booted over to Langley to visit the famn damily for bowling and pizza. I know what you're thinking, what am I, 12? But I've got three younger sisters to accomodate. So we bowled. First game, I was winning all the way along, until the last frame, where my dad bowled 2 strikes, then guttered, to tie me at 123. I didn't let him do that the next game. This time, I bowled a couple of strikes in the tenth, to jump 30 points to 152, while he bettered his previous score by 1, (that's 124, if you don't want to do your own math).

Am I boring you? I doubt it, since nobody reads this, which begs the question of why I write it. I don't really know, to tell no-one the truth. Sometimes you just gotta write things down. Someday, when I do something with my life that makes people take notice, this blog will stand as some kind of record of my life right now. And maybe, just maybe, somebody will care. Jeez, how many times did I just write the word, 'some'?

I'll leave you with this thought on the internet, care of Scrubs' Dr. Cox, "If all the porn was removed from the internet, there would only be one site left, called BringBackThePorn.com". That guy has all the best lines.

Ah ta-ta-ta too ta-tay

I've always held a certain fondness for St. Paddy's Day, since it's two days afore my birthday. I never really have anything appropriate to wear, since green is not the most fashion friendly shade, but I do my best. Today, the world celebrates all things Irish. Guinness Beer. U2. James Joyce. Riverdance. Colin Ferrell. Van Morrison. Potato Famine. Okay, so maybe that shouldn't be celebrated. Actually, why is it that a country, surrounded by fish-filled waters, went so hungry? I don't know.

Everybody get in touch with your inner leprechaun, and dance a celtic jig. They're always after your lucky charms.

Prefacing my Reviews

The two reviews I have offered so far, have not really been positive, so I just wanted to offer this group of films that I have enjoyed lately.

1. The Matador - Pierce Brosnan plays deliciously against type as a hitman who has lost his taste for the job, and Greg Kinnear foils nicely as a salesman who makes a lasting impression on him.
2. Hustle & Flow - A rough-edged pimp, played by Oscar-nom Terence Howard, tries to turn his life around as a rapper. Helped by his stable of ho's, and church music producers Anthony Anderson and DJ Qualls (who is not a real DJ, by the way), he attempts the straight life, but finds old habits die hard.
3. OldBoy - This Korean import is a film about revenge, as a man is imprisoned for 15 years, released, and given a week to figure out who did it and why. The ending is a twist worthy of Shyamalan (is that how it's spelled? Whatever).
4. Narnia - These were the first serious books I read as a child. I had the whole set, and worried about a Disneyfied version ruining my memories of them. I needn't have worried, though. I look forward to the next one being just as magical.
5. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Far be it from me to dismiss something simply because it stars Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer, but I really enjoyed this modern take on film noir. The dialogue was biting, and although the story was jumpy, I can't help but love when, during a flashback, the narrator tells two extras who wander in front of the camera to, "get the fuck out of the way," and of course do so immediately.
6. Crash - I liked most of the Best Picture noms, but I was surprised and pleased that Crash walked away with it. It may not have been a beautifully filmed epic love story, but what it did have was a plethora of complex characters, each one a study of flaws and redemption.
7. A History of Violence - David Croenenburg's tale of small town upheaval was so understated, I was shocked to learn it was a graphic novel. Viggo Mortenson, once so formidable as Aragorn, hits the other extreme as the quiet cafe owner. He was robbed for a Best Actor nod.
8. The 40-Year-Old Virgin - I don't often see a movie more than once. I rarely see one more than twice. I have seen this one 4 times, and I don't even own it. This is a defining comedy, along the vein of Ace Ventura, Something About Mary, or Old School. Not just a hilarious movie, but touching, in its own way. I watched Steve Carrell on The Daily Show, and I couldn't be happier for his success. He's the new Ben Stiller.
9. Sin City - Man, did this movie ever kick ass! Stylish to the point of distraction, one of the greatest casts ever assembled, and non-stop awesomeness. Stop me if I'm gushing. I await the sequel with baited breath.
10. Kung Fu Hustle - Did you like Shaolin Soccer? Then you will enjoy this map-cap (do people still say map-cap?) martial arts import. The action borders on hokey, but if you allow yourself to sit back and watch, then it's a lot of fun.

OK, I figure ten is enough, but I also liked Lord of War, Batman Begins, Corpse Bride, Waiting, Wallace and Gromit, King Kong, Munich, Serenity and Syriana. Is that enough to keep you inside for the next couple of months? Let me know if there's a movie you think I'd enjoy.

Review: 16 Blocks

I'm not sure what kind of hopes I had, going into seeing 16 Blocks, but I suppose I expected more from Bruce Willis, who by now should be a master of playing burnt-out cops. I also expected something from Mos Def, who I last recall playing Ford Prefect in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and played a pretty good comic foil. But instead, Willis grunts and limps through this "real-time" feature, while Def adopts an annoying, nearly indecipherable whine. Willis plays a tired detective assigned to escort an eyewitness, Def, to the courthouse 16 blocks away (get it?) so he can testify in a trial that involves dirty cops. Along the way, they are repeatedly attacked.

I didn't really feel any kind of buddy-movie bonding, besides the fact that Willis suddenly chooses to be a stand-up officer of the law, and repeatedly saves chatterbox Def from being taken out by corrupt cops. David Morse plays the villain of the piece, Willis' former partner for 20 years, trying to clean up a mess that would take down half a dozen officers on the take.

The action escalates, with Willis trading bullets with his former friends, until it culminates with a busload of hostages. Blah blah blah negotiation, blah blah blah interrogation, blah blah blah redemption. The only real memorable aspect of his film is Willis' regrettable 'stache, and Mos Def's nasally interminable voice.

∆∆ out of five

Ultraviolet: Review

We seem to be in the middle of a trend. One that involves sexy vampires kicking inordinate amounts of ass to save mankind. But as long as the leather is tight and the midriffs are bare, what's the problem, right? The problem is this: These films often try to engross us in some overly complicated apocalypse that really makes no sense in logical terms. Why did Aeon Flux have to blow up the Goodyear Blimp? How come Underworld (I forget Kate Beckinsale's name in that) believed that if one clip of bullets doesn't bring someone down, maybe five more would?

Which brings me to the world of Ultraviolet. Apparently, there's some virus that turns people into vampires or something, and now there's a war raging between vamps and humans. With me so far? Because it's not like this is some new idea. I believe Milla Jovovich actaully had some experience with this sort of film before. Did anyone else see Resident Evil? What about the sequel?

So she has to steal some "weapon" from the humans before it can be used against them. And what is this weapon, you ask? Some sort of UV cannon? Not that kind of vampires. No, it's Cameron Bright, Nanaimo's own broody little munchkin. He seems to be everywhere of late, with three films opening up in three weeks. He is also Running Scared with Paul Walker, and plays the son of Aaron Eckhart's tobacco lobbyist in Thank You for Smoking. You might also remember him as the creepy boy from Birth, Godsend and Butterfly Effect. He will also appear as a creepy boy in this summer's X3: The Last Stand. My goodness, he shows up more often than Dakota Fanning. Here's hoping he doesn't pull a Haley Joel, and do some crappy Disney movie, thereby ruining his creepy cred.

So, anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the weapon. So the kid has some sort of antigens in his blood. First, they're bad for vamps, then they're bad for humans, then they're the salvation of everyone. I don't really remember. All I could do is keep thinking why does the corporation make its henchmen out of glass? It seemed the more guys came at her, the easier she disposed of them. It got to the point where they didn't show the fights anymore, just people running through the door, coming to a halt, having a staredown, and then Milla walking through the next door.

That's not to say that the movie didn't have it's moments. Nick Chinlund (I had to look him up) does get to say some fun things as the evil Daxus, head of the CDC or whatever. When Violet decides to stand up to 700 guards, he gets to say "Are you mental?" And later, during the inevitable face to face showdown, he gets to say, "You got hemoplage blood on me. It's on." I'd accuse him of vamping it up, but he'd probably take offense to that.

This is the type of movie that lends itself to a sequel. Who knows if it's warrented. I know I don't have any other questions, besides, what's the point of continually switching between guns and swords? Because it looks cool and allows the star to show off her skills? Just use guns all the time. I mean, the guys are made of glass.

∆∆ out of 5

A Visit to the TV Graveyard

I watch a lot of television. More than my fair share, probably. When I become a fan of a show, I absorb everything I can about it. I check out the imdb pages of the players involved. I look at official and non-official websites. I flip through companion books at my local purveyor of all things bookery. It takes a lot for me to drop a show from my schedule. ER did it by losing character after character, until I realised that there was nobody I could give two wet shits about anymore. Usually, my interest will outlast a show's longevity. Here are some shows I miss:

• Arrested Development. The latest in a long line in FOX shows that are brilliant and mismanaged. I pray to God that Showtime will pick it up, and that somehow it will make its way north. The writers on this show created something so labyrinthene and involving, it's a shame it wasn't on CBS or ABC, which seem to let sitcoms with low ratings live forever (King of Queens, Yes Dear, According to Jim, etc.)
  
• Undeclared. Another FOX cancellation from the minds of the 40 Year Old Virgin. Just coming to DVD. Judd Apatow has proven to be a master of chatter.
  
• Dead Like Me. I didn't see this until Showcase (the Canadian Showtime) just finished playing both seasons back to back. Although the series had me asking way too many questions (so while they're talking to ghosts, can the living see them pointing and shouting at nobody? Why do the living have the assumption that "Millie" is pretty, when she looks like a cokehead?), I'll miss the obvious Vancouver backgrounds and the give 'n take between these people who were all just lumped together against their will, but forged an odd sort of comraderie.
• Clone High. Somewhere beyond the animation power housess at FOX and Disney, was a little show on MTV, about a high school populated by clones of historical figures. The writing was fantastic and smart, as you often had to look for hidden jokes.
• Sports Night. I have to confess, that I, like most of the world, had never seen this show during the original run. I've just watched the whole first season, though, and it had a lot going for it. Great cast (pre-Six Feet Peter Krause, and pre-Desperate Felicity Huffman), quick paced writing (pre-West Wing Aaron Sorkin) and characters that were engaging. Makes me wish I'd tuned in earlier.
• The Office, BBC Version. The UK has an odd way to do TV. Their shows go for 6 episodes a season, and then disappear for a year. I was surprised to find out that Fawlty Towers, with all its popularity, only produced 12 episodes. Over here, that's a failure. But although I love the NBC version, there was an extra note of uncomfortability in the Britcom that pushes it over.
• Futurama. It's not often that you get the feeling of a long-term, over-arching storyline that will play itself out over many years. The X-Files did, and although I missed that show at first, I felt they were able to finish the story. It's even less often that you get that feeling from a cartoon. In Matt Groening's second foray into animation (the first being so unsuccessful. Psych.), he brought Fry, the moronic modern everyman, into a world he never imagined. And sure, mostly, it was about him and his pals at Planet Express, but every now and then, there would be a piece added to the puzzle of how important it was that he was there. But before the whole tale was complete, FOX (once again) decided to end it. Dejected sigh. I have heard rumblings of a reunion, but I'm not holding my breath.

Well, that's all I've got for now. Tomorrow, I'll rundown the shows I'm enjoying now.

P.S. 24, why did you feel the need to kill Tony one episode after Edgar? I can only take so much heartache.

Moist Raper

The first thing I wanted to do with this blog was to publish an anagrammed map of the Paris Metro system, and post it on BoingBoing. I hope that, if it's clicked upon, it will open up full size. I had read that BB.net had stopped accepting new maps after March 1st, but I hope to appeal to them the fact that it's a really big undertaking. With about 400 different stations, that's a helluva lot of anagrams. I actually had a dream where I had to anagram Jeremy Irons name to stay alive (the best one I could come up with was Jersey Minor).

Anyway, here's hoping I draw some attention from BoingBoing, but not so much that the RATF comes down on my ass. I actually got a lot of use out of the Metro when I was in Paris, so I mock out of love. With a special thanks to the Internet Anagram Server, without whom none of this could have been possible.

Good day and welcome to my blgo.

Damnit! I already screwed up once. Well, at least the pressures off now. Okay, this is the second try at this, since Safari unexpectedly quit on me while I tried to upload a picture, and I had written a huge epic opening post, detailing everything. Now, I have to try to recapture that, but it won't be the same. Sigh.

All right, here goes. Hey, I'm Steve Sims, a struggling graphic designer in Vancouver. Actually, just south of Vancouver, in Richmond, which is basically Chinatown. I live with two guys I went to high school with. Lorenzo P. is a Filipino art student, who will soon become a major force in the art world. Either that, or a shoe designer with Nike. I'll be sure to post some of his work some other time. I'll post some of my own, too. Greg D. is a Mexican who loves BMXing and wants to open a small engine repair shop someday. Me, I'd just be happy to have somebody ask me for a logo.

I'm not sure why I thought it necessary that I should put my thoughts on screen for the world to read. There probably won't be much here other than my own opinions on things that don't matter. Plus, I doubt if anyone will ever see this, unless I specifically tell them to. I also have my own website, graphic-content.com, which has my portfolio, resume and two other cool dealies. Logopogo is my own little logo alphabet game, and then my homage to the Absolut ads with a Canadian theme.

This little blog will feature my thoughts and reviews of movies, TV shows, music, websites and whatever else I feel like. The opinions expressed here are not those of the Blogger.com corporation. I wasn't told to say that, but I've always wanted to feel like I was somehow going against the grain, like I was sticking it to the man. Whatever.

If you are the first to read this, please comment, so I can get a warm feeling inside, knowing that the rantings and ramblings of a raving lunatic aren't going unheeded.

BTW, it's my birthday next Sunday (3/19), so if you are a Vancouver-area resident over the age of 19, why not head out to the Roxy on the Saturday (3/18) and give me a high-five. I'll be the one who stumbles onstage for a drunken rendition of "Love Shack", before getting unceremoniously shoved off.

I'm going to post this now, before I have anymore "unexpected" mishaps. But I'll be back soon. With lists, probably. And a picture. Wow, I'm blogging. Next, I'll have to get myself a podcast. Whatever that is.