Movie Reviews: A Buttload (Part I)
I've been shirking my duties here at Graphic Content and for that I apologize. It's a lot more work than I realized to keep this thing semi-up-to-date. The last review I did was of Cars, for Chrysler's sake. But I'm going to try and catch you up with some mini-views of Films of the Last Few Months! Try to imagine James Earl Jones saying that, and you'll get what I was going for there.
The Break-Up - It's like Mr. and Mrs. Smith all over again! And we all remember how much fun that was. Only this time, all the fighting is passive-aggressive. Instead of guns and explosions, we get therapy and tantrums. Hooray! Vinnifer (which I personally invented and much prefer to "Vaughniston" (extra parenthetical: Who came up with that shitty name? At least "TomKat" is ironic) and goes along nicely with Bennifer and Brangelina), played by two separate people, apparently, go through a messy break-up after threeish years together. Even though it's clear that the two still love each other, they still go for the throat when it comes to one-upping the other in the race to win "hand" as it's known by the Seinfeld generation. And by the time they realize the true feelings they have for one another, it's too late to salvage the damaged-beyond-repair relationship. I found the movie thoroughly depressing, but maybe I just haven't experienced such a sucking pit of despair, so I can't relate. The story goes that early test audiences didn't go for the original ending, so they reshot a new one months later. Maybe they jumped the gun? Hopefully the original one will end up on the DVD. Althought I probably won't rent it. I don't need the sadness in my life. Bottom line: This movie is on the rocks and I'm going to change the locks.
Nacho Libre - Wow, I can barely remember this movie. That doesn't say much about me, but it says even less about the film. I was so psyched going into this, thinking, "Oh boy, a Jack Black movie about Mexican wrestling made by the guy who did Napoleon Dynamite! Yippee!" Alright, maybe I didn't squeal "Yippee!" but you get the idea. There was so much this movie had going for it on paper, but the result just did not add up for me. Sure, there were some funny moments, but no real standout scenes or performances, and I can't for the life of me spout any quotes in real-life conversations (which is what I was hoping for). A Mexican friar, played by Black, wishes to make life better for the orphans, in order to impress a nun. To that end, he enlists the help of a neighborhood scoundrel ("I don't believe in God. I believe in science," is probably the best line in the film), and together they form a wrestling tag-team the likes of which probably everyone had ever seen. But the moderate fame and modest fortune they gain turns the friar into a bag of douche. He learns his lesson and yada yada yada. Bottom line: This Nacho is a bit stale. Wait for the DVD and hope for deleted scenes.
Click - This review may shock you. You have been warned. Adam Sandler is the new Bill Murray. Remember when Bill Murray was in schlock like Caddyshack and Ghostbusters and Stripes? Not to say those weren't good movies, but he always played kind of a goofball, fresh off of SNL with nowhere to go but up, into drier satire, like Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (of course, it helps if someone like Wes Anderson really likes you). Sound familiar? Adam Sandler used to appear in schlock like Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore and The Waterboy, where he wouldn't be asked to do much more than use that silly "abbi-doobie" voice he's so fond of. He is also moving forward from SNL to appear in drier satire, like Punch-Drunk Love and now Click. Not to say he doesn't still have time to do a Mr. Deeds now and then. Click is about a work-obsessed family man, an architect, who is given a device that will control his universe (given by a delicious Christopher Walken, who really does a great Chris Walken impression throughout). He can pause, rewind, and skip parts of his life to his liking. But the remote gets it's own ideas, and Adam learns a valuable lesson about smelling the roses. Here's the shocking part: when he was at his most desperate, I was nearly in tears. I admit it. No films usually do that to me. Not Titanic, not The English Patient, nothing. But Click? Somehow, it got the better of me. Bottom line: Click may make you pause and reflect. Two SUperFIngers up.
Superman Returns - The long-- and I mean long-- awaited return for the Man of Steel comes on the heels of a superhero movie genre revival. Some are good (Spider-Man, Batman Begins), and some are not (Elektra, Hellboy, Daredevil, this list goes on longer unfortunately) but like it or not they are back, baby. With more being announced all the time (Ghost Rider, Iron Man), as well as franchise sequels, it seems that movie producers are going no further than their sons' bookshelves for their next projects. So it stands to reason that a comeback was necessary for the uber-hero, Superman. Personally, I don't care for him. He does it all. Speed, strength, flying, heat vision, x-ray vision, the super-ability to blow air at things, he has no flaws, and it gets boring. And Lex Luther? Talk about a bland villain. I'll take a Doc Oc or The Joker over a bald, rich guy. Anyway, getting off-topic, back to the film... Although newbie Brandon Routh has the jaw and the piercing blue eyes for the job, the kid can't act, and Kate Bosworth (all 98 lbs. of her) doesn't have the vim and vinegar to play spunky upstart reporter Lois Lane. The plot intrigued me, what would happen if Superman just up and left? What would be left in his wake? Director Bryan Singer tries to pull that, and a Lutheran plot (any objections? No? Okay.) to destroy the world somehow, together to form a cohesive whole, but we end up feeling bounced around a bit. Props to Kevin Spacey for breathing some life into an otherwise bland villain, although he ain't no Gene Hackman. Bottom line: Not exactly a super-effort, but worth seeing just the same.
You, Me and Dupree - Owen Wilson plays the same guy in every movie. He's the quick-talkin' yet slow-drawlin' hipster who's always putting his foot where it don't belong. And he's made a tidy career out of it, so kudos. The same could be said about Michael Douglas. He's the guy in a suit, makin' money. When was the last time he made a movie where he didn't wear a tie? Kate Hudson always plays "the love interest" to the guy. Matt Dillon? He's the only one not pigeon-holed. Coming off an Oscar win, and this is what he does with his newfound clout? Oh well, this film showcases everyones talents nicely. Wilson gets to be hip, Douglas gets to wear a tie, Hudson gets to be in love and Dillon gets another acting credit on imdb. Everybody wins. Wilson plays Dupree, best man at Carl and Molly's wedding, who suddenly is down on his luck and out on the street. Carl brings him home, to Molly's consternation, but the loveable huckster begins to grow on her. Meanwhile, Carl, an architect, is becoming work-obsessed. But when Carl goes off the deep end, it's good old Dupree to the rescue, "throwing seven different kinds of smoke". Bottom line: You, Me, Dupree and Dupree's Wacky Cousin Who Constantly Gets Dupree Into Some Madcap Misadventures and Mischief, coming in Summer 2008. Some funny parts but ultimately unrewarding.
Whew! Okay, I've got to take a break on this thing, but I promise I will keep going with Part II, featuring pirates, houses and clerks, tomorrow. Auf weidersehen, mein guterschlagens (I made that word up, don't bother trying to translate it).
TTFN
The Break-Up - It's like Mr. and Mrs. Smith all over again! And we all remember how much fun that was. Only this time, all the fighting is passive-aggressive. Instead of guns and explosions, we get therapy and tantrums. Hooray! Vinnifer (which I personally invented and much prefer to "Vaughniston" (extra parenthetical: Who came up with that shitty name? At least "TomKat" is ironic) and goes along nicely with Bennifer and Brangelina), played by two separate people, apparently, go through a messy break-up after threeish years together. Even though it's clear that the two still love each other, they still go for the throat when it comes to one-upping the other in the race to win "hand" as it's known by the Seinfeld generation. And by the time they realize the true feelings they have for one another, it's too late to salvage the damaged-beyond-repair relationship. I found the movie thoroughly depressing, but maybe I just haven't experienced such a sucking pit of despair, so I can't relate. The story goes that early test audiences didn't go for the original ending, so they reshot a new one months later. Maybe they jumped the gun? Hopefully the original one will end up on the DVD. Althought I probably won't rent it. I don't need the sadness in my life. Bottom line: This movie is on the rocks and I'm going to change the locks.
Nacho Libre - Wow, I can barely remember this movie. That doesn't say much about me, but it says even less about the film. I was so psyched going into this, thinking, "Oh boy, a Jack Black movie about Mexican wrestling made by the guy who did Napoleon Dynamite! Yippee!" Alright, maybe I didn't squeal "Yippee!" but you get the idea. There was so much this movie had going for it on paper, but the result just did not add up for me. Sure, there were some funny moments, but no real standout scenes or performances, and I can't for the life of me spout any quotes in real-life conversations (which is what I was hoping for). A Mexican friar, played by Black, wishes to make life better for the orphans, in order to impress a nun. To that end, he enlists the help of a neighborhood scoundrel ("I don't believe in God. I believe in science," is probably the best line in the film), and together they form a wrestling tag-team the likes of which probably everyone had ever seen. But the moderate fame and modest fortune they gain turns the friar into a bag of douche. He learns his lesson and yada yada yada. Bottom line: This Nacho is a bit stale. Wait for the DVD and hope for deleted scenes.
Click - This review may shock you. You have been warned. Adam Sandler is the new Bill Murray. Remember when Bill Murray was in schlock like Caddyshack and Ghostbusters and Stripes? Not to say those weren't good movies, but he always played kind of a goofball, fresh off of SNL with nowhere to go but up, into drier satire, like Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (of course, it helps if someone like Wes Anderson really likes you). Sound familiar? Adam Sandler used to appear in schlock like Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore and The Waterboy, where he wouldn't be asked to do much more than use that silly "abbi-doobie" voice he's so fond of. He is also moving forward from SNL to appear in drier satire, like Punch-Drunk Love and now Click. Not to say he doesn't still have time to do a Mr. Deeds now and then. Click is about a work-obsessed family man, an architect, who is given a device that will control his universe (given by a delicious Christopher Walken, who really does a great Chris Walken impression throughout). He can pause, rewind, and skip parts of his life to his liking. But the remote gets it's own ideas, and Adam learns a valuable lesson about smelling the roses. Here's the shocking part: when he was at his most desperate, I was nearly in tears. I admit it. No films usually do that to me. Not Titanic, not The English Patient, nothing. But Click? Somehow, it got the better of me. Bottom line: Click may make you pause and reflect. Two SUperFIngers up.
Superman Returns - The long-- and I mean long-- awaited return for the Man of Steel comes on the heels of a superhero movie genre revival. Some are good (Spider-Man, Batman Begins), and some are not (Elektra, Hellboy, Daredevil, this list goes on longer unfortunately) but like it or not they are back, baby. With more being announced all the time (Ghost Rider, Iron Man), as well as franchise sequels, it seems that movie producers are going no further than their sons' bookshelves for their next projects. So it stands to reason that a comeback was necessary for the uber-hero, Superman. Personally, I don't care for him. He does it all. Speed, strength, flying, heat vision, x-ray vision, the super-ability to blow air at things, he has no flaws, and it gets boring. And Lex Luther? Talk about a bland villain. I'll take a Doc Oc or The Joker over a bald, rich guy. Anyway, getting off-topic, back to the film... Although newbie Brandon Routh has the jaw and the piercing blue eyes for the job, the kid can't act, and Kate Bosworth (all 98 lbs. of her) doesn't have the vim and vinegar to play spunky upstart reporter Lois Lane. The plot intrigued me, what would happen if Superman just up and left? What would be left in his wake? Director Bryan Singer tries to pull that, and a Lutheran plot (any objections? No? Okay.) to destroy the world somehow, together to form a cohesive whole, but we end up feeling bounced around a bit. Props to Kevin Spacey for breathing some life into an otherwise bland villain, although he ain't no Gene Hackman. Bottom line: Not exactly a super-effort, but worth seeing just the same.
You, Me and Dupree - Owen Wilson plays the same guy in every movie. He's the quick-talkin' yet slow-drawlin' hipster who's always putting his foot where it don't belong. And he's made a tidy career out of it, so kudos. The same could be said about Michael Douglas. He's the guy in a suit, makin' money. When was the last time he made a movie where he didn't wear a tie? Kate Hudson always plays "the love interest" to the guy. Matt Dillon? He's the only one not pigeon-holed. Coming off an Oscar win, and this is what he does with his newfound clout?
Whew! Okay, I've got to take a break on this thing, but I promise I will keep going with Part II, featuring pirates, houses and clerks, tomorrow. Auf weidersehen, mein guterschlagens (I made that word up, don't bother trying to translate it).
TTFN
posted by The Man in Charge at
4:29 AM
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