Ultraviolet: Review
We seem to be in the middle of a trend. One that involves sexy vampires kicking inordinate amounts of ass to save mankind. But as long as the leather is tight and the midriffs are bare, what's the problem, right? The problem is this: These films often try to engross us in some overly complicated apocalypse that really makes no sense in logical terms. Why did Aeon Flux have to blow up the Goodyear Blimp? How come Underworld (I forget Kate Beckinsale's name in that) believed that if one clip of bullets doesn't bring someone down, maybe five more would?
Which brings me to the world of Ultraviolet. Apparently, there's some virus that turns people into vampires or something, and now there's a war raging between vamps and humans. With me so far? Because it's not like this is some new idea. I believe Milla Jovovich actaully had some experience with this sort of film before. Did anyone else see Resident Evil? What about the sequel?
So she has to steal some "weapon" from the humans before it can be used against them. And what is this weapon, you ask? Some sort of UV cannon? Not that kind of vampires. No, it's Cameron Bright, Nanaimo's own broody little munchkin. He seems to be everywhere of late, with three films opening up in three weeks. He is also Running Scared with Paul Walker, and plays the son of Aaron Eckhart's tobacco lobbyist in Thank You for Smoking. You might also remember him as the creepy boy from Birth, Godsend and Butterfly Effect. He will also appear as a creepy boy in this summer's X3: The Last Stand. My goodness, he shows up more often than Dakota Fanning. Here's hoping he doesn't pull a Haley Joel, and do some crappy Disney movie, thereby ruining his creepy cred.
So, anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the weapon. So the kid has some sort of antigens in his blood. First, they're bad for vamps, then they're bad for humans, then they're the salvation of everyone. I don't really remember. All I could do is keep thinking why does the corporation make its henchmen out of glass? It seemed the more guys came at her, the easier she disposed of them. It got to the point where they didn't show the fights anymore, just people running through the door, coming to a halt, having a staredown, and then Milla walking through the next door.
That's not to say that the movie didn't have it's moments. Nick Chinlund (I had to look him up) does get to say some fun things as the evil Daxus, head of the CDC or whatever. When Violet decides to stand up to 700 guards, he gets to say "Are you mental?" And later, during the inevitable face to face showdown, he gets to say, "You got hemoplage blood on me. It's on." I'd accuse him of vamping it up, but he'd probably take offense to that.
This is the type of movie that lends itself to a sequel. Who knows if it's warrented. I know I don't have any other questions, besides, what's the point of continually switching between guns and swords? Because it looks cool and allows the star to show off her skills? Just use guns all the time. I mean, the guys are made of glass.
∆∆ out of 5
Which brings me to the world of Ultraviolet. Apparently, there's some virus that turns people into vampires or something, and now there's a war raging between vamps and humans. With me so far? Because it's not like this is some new idea. I believe Milla Jovovich actaully had some experience with this sort of film before. Did anyone else see Resident Evil? What about the sequel?
So she has to steal some "weapon" from the humans before it can be used against them. And what is this weapon, you ask? Some sort of UV cannon? Not that kind of vampires. No, it's Cameron Bright, Nanaimo's own broody little munchkin. He seems to be everywhere of late, with three films opening up in three weeks. He is also Running Scared with Paul Walker, and plays the son of Aaron Eckhart's tobacco lobbyist in Thank You for Smoking. You might also remember him as the creepy boy from Birth, Godsend and Butterfly Effect. He will also appear as a creepy boy in this summer's X3: The Last Stand. My goodness, he shows up more often than Dakota Fanning. Here's hoping he doesn't pull a Haley Joel, and do some crappy Disney movie, thereby ruining his creepy cred.
So, anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the weapon. So the kid has some sort of antigens in his blood. First, they're bad for vamps, then they're bad for humans, then they're the salvation of everyone. I don't really remember. All I could do is keep thinking why does the corporation make its henchmen out of glass? It seemed the more guys came at her, the easier she disposed of them. It got to the point where they didn't show the fights anymore, just people running through the door, coming to a halt, having a staredown, and then Milla walking through the next door.
That's not to say that the movie didn't have it's moments. Nick Chinlund (I had to look him up) does get to say some fun things as the evil Daxus, head of the CDC or whatever. When Violet decides to stand up to 700 guards, he gets to say "Are you mental?" And later, during the inevitable face to face showdown, he gets to say, "You got hemoplage blood on me. It's on." I'd accuse him of vamping it up, but he'd probably take offense to that.
This is the type of movie that lends itself to a sequel. Who knows if it's warrented. I know I don't have any other questions, besides, what's the point of continually switching between guns and swords? Because it looks cool and allows the star to show off her skills? Just use guns all the time. I mean, the guys are made of glass.
∆∆ out of 5
posted by The Man in Charge at
9:06 AM
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