Booze, News and Reviews
Howdy y'all. I've been a tad neglectful in my "duties" to inform you of whatsa goin on. So, I've got three quick movie reviews and a party recap.
Let's begin with the party. It was my good friend Erica's b-day (bidet?). Sorry, I'll write it out: birthday. So the whole gang (13 of us) crowded onto a party bus, which was in reality, a leather seated "special-ed" bus. Erica kindly provided us with some Jello shooters (there's always room for tequila), and we were promptly inebriated. The bus took us out to Maple Ridge, to a little place called Roosters. $3 Corona's and Double Margarita's were the order of the night, and soon we were all dancing to the strains of country's biggest stars. Of course, I don't go for country music, but when the rhythm is hot and so are the ladies, I can't help but hit the dance floor. It kinda went cyclical from there. Just going from the dance floor to the beer, and back again. They wouldn't let me sit for long. While Brad was trying to pass me off as the heir to the Sims Snowboard empire to every girl who'd listen, Amoria was keeping me busy, until Doug came down and took over for me. But every good thing must come to an end, and we hopped back on the bus to take us home, or at least, our home away from home, Doug's place. We debated on the way home about ordering a pizza, or taking the bus to a drive-through, but we eventually settled on BBQ'd burgers. And damned if they weren't the best burgers we'd ever tasted. It must have something to do with your blood alcohol level. So there you have it, another successful party. Happy bidet, Erica!
Moving on, I've seen three films that I've yet to get up here. One of them was a scathing commentary of amateur sports, one was a poignant look at environmental issues, and one was a comedy that depressed me to no end. Give up? They are Stick It, Over the Hedge, and The Break-Up.
Stick It, from the makers of Bring It On, is about the cut-throat world of gymnastics, and the shoddy scoring system, that threatens it's future. Do you care? Well, you can stop, because although it makes plenty of good points and features plenty of top-rate ass (I didn't research this, so forgive me if you find out that those asses belong to a bunch of fifteen-year-olds. They shouldn't even be in there!), the film offers no real redeeming value to casual moviegoers. The only recognizable actor in the film is Jeff Bridges, and you can almost see the bulging pockets... from the money! The money, I mean! Jeez Louise you people are sensitive. Let me roll it up for you here: Tomboy gets in trouble, gets sent to gymnastics school, makes friends with former enemies, goes to finals, yada yada yada, everybody's in spandex. ∆1/2 of 5
Over the Hedge is a Dreamworks film about a group of critter who wake from hibernation to find that their habitat has been turned into a sprawling Levittown-style suburb. They turn to a street-wise raccoon (Bruce Willis) to teach them a new way to forage. This grinds the gears of the group leader, a methodical (is there any other kind) turtle, voiced by Garry Shandling. The movie features a top-rate voice cast (William Shatner, Steve Carell, Alison Janney, Wanda Sykes, Eugene Levy, even Avril Lavigne) and takes full advantage of the CGI effects, with plenty of jokes and levity for the kids. But at the heart of the story is the reality of the human population explosion, and the effect it has on other species. But it quickly drops the heavy-handed message for mad-cap excitement, so you don't have to spend hours explaining to the children why there are no squirrels in your backyard. ∆∆∆ of 5
The Break-Up was hyped as the romantic comedy of the summer, featuring two golden geese who may or may not be entwined in real life. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston (or Vaughniston as they prefer to be called [inner side note: Why not Vinnifer, like Bennifer?]) are two likeable people who pair up and are living what appears to be the good life, according to the candid photos in the credits. But as always happens, things are not as they appear. She is tired of doing all the work in the relationship, and he is a douchebag. So, she impulsively breaks up with him, following a dinner party. He is shocked but moves on, or so he would like her to think. The problem is that they are both part-owners of a lovely condo, and neither one wants to leave. They mark their territories in increasingly obnoxious ways, by inviting a men's choir to practice, or by throwing a strip poker tournament. Then by the time the true feelings surface, you're about ready to break up with your own significant other for bringing you to this downer. But I won't say anything more, lest I be sued for slander. ∆∆ of 5
Tune in next time, when my panel and I will be discussing the film, Thank You for Smoking. Goodnight from all of us here, the monitor is closed. Doo-doodoo doo-doo doo doo-doo.
Let's begin with the party. It was my good friend Erica's b-day (bidet?). Sorry, I'll write it out: birthday. So the whole gang (13 of us) crowded onto a party bus, which was in reality, a leather seated "special-ed" bus. Erica kindly provided us with some Jello shooters (there's always room for tequila), and we were promptly inebriated. The bus took us out to Maple Ridge, to a little place called Roosters. $3 Corona's and Double Margarita's were the order of the night, and soon we were all dancing to the strains of country's biggest stars. Of course, I don't go for country music, but when the rhythm is hot and so are the ladies, I can't help but hit the dance floor. It kinda went cyclical from there. Just going from the dance floor to the beer, and back again. They wouldn't let me sit for long. While Brad was trying to pass me off as the heir to the Sims Snowboard empire to every girl who'd listen, Amoria was keeping me busy, until Doug came down and took over for me. But every good thing must come to an end, and we hopped back on the bus to take us home, or at least, our home away from home, Doug's place. We debated on the way home about ordering a pizza, or taking the bus to a drive-through, but we eventually settled on BBQ'd burgers. And damned if they weren't the best burgers we'd ever tasted. It must have something to do with your blood alcohol level. So there you have it, another successful party. Happy bidet, Erica!
Moving on, I've seen three films that I've yet to get up here. One of them was a scathing commentary of amateur sports, one was a poignant look at environmental issues, and one was a comedy that depressed me to no end. Give up? They are Stick It, Over the Hedge, and The Break-Up.
Stick It, from the makers of Bring It On, is about the cut-throat world of gymnastics, and the shoddy scoring system, that threatens it's future. Do you care? Well, you can stop, because although it makes plenty of good points and features plenty of top-rate ass (I didn't research this, so forgive me if you find out that those asses belong to a bunch of fifteen-year-olds. They shouldn't even be in there!), the film offers no real redeeming value to casual moviegoers. The only recognizable actor in the film is Jeff Bridges, and you can almost see the bulging pockets... from the money! The money, I mean! Jeez Louise you people are sensitive. Let me roll it up for you here: Tomboy gets in trouble, gets sent to gymnastics school, makes friends with former enemies, goes to finals, yada yada yada, everybody's in spandex. ∆1/2 of 5
Over the Hedge is a Dreamworks film about a group of critter who wake from hibernation to find that their habitat has been turned into a sprawling Levittown-style suburb. They turn to a street-wise raccoon (Bruce Willis) to teach them a new way to forage. This grinds the gears of the group leader, a methodical (is there any other kind) turtle, voiced by Garry Shandling. The movie features a top-rate voice cast (William Shatner, Steve Carell, Alison Janney, Wanda Sykes, Eugene Levy, even Avril Lavigne) and takes full advantage of the CGI effects, with plenty of jokes and levity for the kids. But at the heart of the story is the reality of the human population explosion, and the effect it has on other species. But it quickly drops the heavy-handed message for mad-cap excitement, so you don't have to spend hours explaining to the children why there are no squirrels in your backyard. ∆∆∆ of 5The Break-Up was hyped as the romantic comedy of the summer, featuring two golden geese who may or may not be entwined in real life. Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston (or Vaughniston as they prefer to be called [inner side note: Why not Vinnifer, like Bennifer?]) are two likeable people who pair up and are living what appears to be the good life, according to the candid photos in the credits. But as always happens, things are not as they appear. She is tired of doing all the work in the relationship, and he is a douchebag. So, she impulsively breaks up with him, following a dinner party. He is shocked but moves on, or so he would like her to think. The problem is that they are both part-owners of a lovely condo, and neither one wants to leave. They mark their territories in increasingly obnoxious ways, by inviting a men's choir to practice, or by throwing a strip poker tournament. Then by the time the true feelings surface, you're about ready to break up with your own significant other for bringing you to this downer. But I won't say anything more, lest I be sued for slander. ∆∆ of 5
Tune in next time, when my panel and I will be discussing the film, Thank You for Smoking. Goodnight from all of us here, the monitor is closed. Doo-doodoo doo-doo doo doo-doo.
posted by The Man in Charge at
1:47 AM
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