The possibilities are endless

While discussing Silent Hill the other day, I was struck by the poor quality of movies that are spawned by vidja [read: video] games. But really, what can we expect from them. The reason we love these games are because the action and excitement is determined by us, not some Hollywood hack who tries to infuse the characters of Street Fighter with back stories and relationships. Seriously, E. Honda as a news cameraman? Dhalsim as a scientist? But would the movie have been better if it was just 90 minutes of random ass-kickings, I ask you. Would you have felt better about Super Mario Bros. if Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo just ran around, jumping on mushrooms and turtles, finding coins in pipes? I doubt it. The reason these movies got made was so that producers could trade on the built-in audience that the games already had, and make some easy money. Can you imagine if they had made a Pac-Man movie? What if, instead of a yellow pie shape, he was a detective, who ate fruit and hunted ghosts in maze-like buldings. That would have sucked big-time, no doubt, but more importantly, it would have soured people on the game, even though it would share nothing in common other than the name.

But rather than dismiss the genre altogether, I believe there may yet be hope for the VGM (video game movie), but it depends on the property. Here now is a (by no means comprehensive) list of games that could theoretically become successful adaptations:

• The Legend of Zelda. This is one of the oldest franchises out there, and ripe for the picking. Get Orlando Bloom as Link (he already has the ears), and away you go.
• Prince of Persia. Skip along to Sands of Time or Two Thrones, and you've got a high-concept adventure film set in a currently fascinating land.
• Jak and Daxter. I mentioned this in the earlier post, but this could make for a great family film that doesn't sink down to a kid's mentality. Guy and his cute yet snarky animal friend save the day. Box office gold.
• Metal Gear Solid. With a Matt Damon-like guy playing Solid Snake, this could be the next Bond-esque franchise, or that honour could also go to...
• Splinter Cell. I have heard rumblings about a film based on the stealth game, which could add up for some thrilling suspense, and then when he finally goes berserker, watch out!
• God of War. This game was so cinematic by itself, I'm not whether a film version could even do it justice, but I'd love to see them try.
• Grand Theft Auto. I have heard that there is indeed a film in the works, but how faithful will they be. It would be interesting if they did GTAIII (the first one worth doing) and had, say, Clive Owen as the protagonist, not say a word throughout the whole film, and just being this heartless killer, pulling folks out of their cars and shooting AK's into police choppers.
• Final Fantasy. This long-standing franchise deserves a real adaptation, not that crazy-as-hell (although gorgeous to look at) Spirits Within dealie.
• Ratchet and Clank. I may be reaching here, but maybe as a direct-to-video CGI film it could draw some sales. There's plenty of story to mine for inspiration.
  
• Half-Life. One of the most engrossing titles of the last few years, this mutation/alien storyline is the stuff Hollywood eats up with a spork.
• TimeSplitters. Also mentioned before, this is a game that isn't afraid to have fun with carnage, and spread across three games is enough time-jumping adventure to pad out at least one movie. Vin Diesel would have to play Cortez. There can be only one.
• Fatal Frame. I don't know much about this spooky series, but I'd be willing to sacrifice it to Uwe Boll's altar of shite VGM's.
• Killer7. The game itself may have appeared simplistic, but the idea behind it could make for great VGM fodder, with a team of seven assassins, who may just be one schizophrenic man.
• Driver. An undercover cop who works as a hired wheelman for the mob? Good stuff. I see Joachin Phoenix as the conflicted driver.
• Max Payne. There's no detective stories like film noir detective stories, and this was a doozy.
• Dead to Rights. Another straight-up cop story, this time with a dog and bullet time sequences.
  
• Metroid. A female assassin in outer space? I'm looking at you, Jennifer Garner.
• No One Lives Forever. This 60's era spy game took the Bond mentality and applied it to the Austin Powers milieu.
  
• Perfect Dark. Three female centered games in a row? Coincidence? Maybe. Here's a story of revenge that audiences eat up.
  
• Syphon Filter. Maybe the whole stealth shooting thing is getting old, but you could still get one movie out of this title. And that's all anyone can ask for, right?
• Myst. This series of games offer some of the most dramatically breathtaking scenery offered and some top-notch mysteries to be solved. Sign up Peter Jackson.

That's all I can come up with, or dutifully type out, for now, but I'm sure I've missed some important ones, so let me know what great games could become mediocre to okay movies. Here's hoping SpyHunter doesn't suck too hard with The Rock (can we stop calling him that yet? He hasn't been a wrestler for years now. Let's call him Dwayne Johnson... actually, I guess The Rock suits him more) and that Halo will break the bad adaptation trend for good.

Until next time, may all your viewer discretion be ill-advised.